


Bombshell

by zapsalis_d



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Angst, Din Djarin Needs a Hug, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Good Parent Din Djarin, Reader-Insert, The Mandalorian (TV) Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:34:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29337633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zapsalis_d/pseuds/zapsalis_d
Summary: Being one of the most beautiful women in the land of Rainoh – and the princess – you certainly had your pick of the many men in the kingdom. Everyone expected you to marry into royal bloodlines, especially your mother, the queen. But who do you choose to fall in love with? No other than Din Djarin, the Mandalorian who’s reputation speaks horrible things of him. Yet, you find comfort in him and even though you could never see his face, you loved him. And it was safe to say he did as well.But when problems arise between you two, you were fed up with the issues that needed be fixed and decided to split up. When Din leaves, he not only left you but unknowingly left a child of his own behind as well. Your mother, dismayed and disappointed at the news, suggests you marry a man of royalty before everyone else finds out about your pregnancy with the long-gone Mandalorian. But what happens when he returns in hopes of making amends, only for it to be much too late?
Relationships: Din Djarin & Reader, Din Djarin/Reader, Din Djarin/You
Comments: 3
Kudos: 49





	1. Prologue

**“That’s it? You’re leaving.”**

**“I guess so.”**

Your heart fell heavy at his words. The way he spoke them with absolutely no emotion, no feeling, _nothing_ — it made you believe he no longer loved you. Maybe he never did. Why he chose to stick around, you had no clue but if he didn’t love you then what was the point in all this? Scoffing, you take slow steps towards the man in beskar armor until you were mere inches away from his dark visor.

“Did I ever matter to you?”

Your eyes bore holes into his visor. If looks could kill, he’d definitely be dead right now. Words couldn’t explain the rage you felt but chose to keep contained within you. You were a princess — you couldn’t lash out in a fit of anger. You had to keep calm. Desperately, you searched for his eyes; the eyes you would never have the chance to gaze directly into, so you could see what he really felt. Was he just trying to act tough? Was he feeling the same misery and dismay as you? Were his eyes brimmed with tears like yours were? It pained you to never have the answers to those questions.

“Yes. You still do.”

That was a complete lie — if you still mattered to him, he wouldn’t be doing this. He wouldn’t be off bounty hunting every second of his life, rarely ever visiting you at the palace. You were sick of him leaving you alone. You needed him. He was your comfort, your serenity, your _love_. He brightened your day ever since he walked into your life. You shook your head at him. He stood completely still, his visor tipping down to directly face you.

“Well, that’s not what it seems like. I believe you love your bounty hunting more than you love me.”

Silence.

“I’m right, aren’t I?”

Tears threatened to spill from your eyes now, and you found yourself turning away from him to hide your pain. Your back turned against him, you gazed straight ahead at the open balcony of your room, where moments previously, you and the Mandalorian shared a loving moment before an argument broke out. Did any of this really matter anymore? It seemed like there was no fixing this, that it should just be put to an _end_.

“That’s not true.”

Sighing heavily, your eyes remained staring at the two moons ahead that lit up the darkness of the night. You were fed up with his short responses now, how he didn’t even bother to make amends and fix the problem anymore. This has happened one too many times, and it only seemed to be getting worse each time. There was no going back. The love you shared is lost.

Closing your eyes, tears ran down your cheeks, and it took all your strength to come up with the words you were going to say.

“Din, _leave_.”

That’s it. You said it. There was no backing down now.

“It doesn’t have to be like this.”

He studied you intently from behind, searching for any sign that you would be taking that back. But your voice remained strong, not a crack in it. Your posture straight and confident, the way you stood when you made a final decision did not go unnoticed by him. He knew this was over. You both did. The love between you two has disappeared and won’t ever return.

“Din Djarin, get out of my room, get out of my palace, and get off my planet.”

This time, your raised your voice slightly to let him know you were serious. You had made your decision. You simply weren’t content with this relationship as before. It had to come to a conclusion sooner rather than later.

Footsteps were heard leaving, opening a door and shutting it.

That’s when you broke into sobs.

All that time spent with him, all the troubles you went through just so you could be together, the effort you put into caring for a man who you couldn’t even see his face, all that went down the drain. Your heart felt like someone had reached into your chest and yanked it out. You didn’t expect yourself go feel like this, but then you’d never had to let go of somebody like this.

Did any of this ever matter to him?

Those intimate nights together, the days spent in each other’s arms as he whispered sweet-nothings into your ears, did he really care? You loved him. He told you he loved you. So why didn’t it seem like he did? You understood his faithfulness to his Creed, how he couldn’t take off his helmet, and how he devoted his life to being a bounty hunter. Still, it didn’t mean he had to be out hunting everyday, right? It felt like he didn’t want to be near you anymore.

Maybe he had just gotten sick of you.

Vision blurred with tears, you turned to face the door as if expecting Din to come out of it and return to you. As if he would regret what he’d done, apologize, and everything would go back to normal. Or maybe it was you who regretted your decision? Maybe you shouldn’t have told him to leave. You could’ve both worked it out together. Why did you do that? You were hurt, you weren’t thinking, your mind was a mess and you couldn’t think straight. You shouldn’t have done that, you shouldn’t have told him to leave.

The sound of the Razor Crest’s engines starting up filled your ears, and when you dashed to the balcony of your room you spotted the familiar ship taking off. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you watched it leave the planet of Rainoh. The wind blew violently against you, your dress flowing along with it, your hair blowing into your face, and you were freezing in this extreme temperature but you didn’t care. The pain you were feeling blinded you of anything else, and the only thing you could do was watch the man you loved leave the planet, the city, leave _you_.

Without realizing, he was leaving a bundle of surprise behind as well.


	2. Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an entire month without hearing from Din, you begin to worry. Meanwhile, you receive unexpected news.

Snow filled the late afternoon after the previous stormy night, everything topped with the bright and fluffy whiteness. The planet of Rainoh was frigid to an extreme, spending most of the time covered in snow and for there to be no snow would be a miracle. You were used to it since you were practically born playing in outside in the freezing temperature and you wouldn't head anyplace else. Soon enough, you would be crowned queen of the entire planet once your mother retired from her rule, and you would no longer be a princess — you'd be the ruler of a whole planet. 

Yet you couldn't bring yourself to care.

Already it had been a month since Din, your love, your serenity, your _heart_ left your life. There was still an empty hole in your chest that needed to be filled, and the only way for that to happen is if he were to return. While you knew the chances of him coming back were slim, you held that hope close to you. It was the only thing keeping you going. You regretted the decision of commanding him to leave — what were you thinking? Did you ever realize how you simply couldn't live without him anymore? It was much too late now. 

You found yourself barely giving attention to anything — duties became a burden, interacting with others was gruesome, even simple things such as getting out of bed increasingly grew difficult. It felt like you were getting worse by the day. Most of your time was spent standing out in your balcony, no matter the climate, season, time... you just _stood_ there. Staring beyond at the icy, frozen planet of Rainoh, waiting for... what? For Din to come back? As if he would return to you, apologize, and you would tell him how sorry you were for what you'd done, you would hug and make up and you'd finally have your joy back, but...

That wasn't going to happen.

Today happened to be one of your lowest days. As soon as you opened your eyes in the morning, a wave of nausea struck -- if you hadn't acted quickly and head to the bathroom, you would've had to ask one of the workers to clean your mess. That wasn't the only time it occurred. For the rest of the day, you found yourself continually dashing to the toilet whenever the feeling of vomiting took over.

If only Din were here... he'd help you feel better, be there with you until you were well.

Dreams were plagued with images of him, where he would come back to you and put all that happened behind. You longed for his touch, his warmth, his soothing voice, the feeling of him besides you while you slept, assuring you that you were safe as long as he was there. Your mind constantly wandered to him, always pensive about whether he was alright, alive. The worst part is you had no idea if he still lived. Sure, he was experienced in combat and the best bounty hunter in the parsec, but that didn't make him invincible. Maybe that's why you haven't heard from him... what if he was out there suffering for some reason, a hunt gone wrong perhaps? Or even worse, what if he was--

A knock on your door.

You remained silent in hopes of whoever was behind your door would take a hint and leave you alone. Though when you heard the door open up, you knew exactly who entered, because nobody else was allowed to step into your room without permission except your mother, the queen of Rainoh. You paid no attention to her, wanting only to be left alone but that was the last thing she was going to do. The clacking of her heels came closer, until you felt her presence directly behind you, and an icy hand placed on your shoulder.

"Come to dinner," she suggested. "We have some guests."

The thought of dinner only made you want to puke some more, and even worse -- there were going to be guests. Everyone undoubtedly knew you were with Din and for him to suddenly disappear didn't go unnoticed by them. So the last thing you needed right now were people questioning you when you weren't going to answer.

You shook your head, keeping your eyes trained on the flamboyant colors of the sky as the sun set down onto the horizon. "I'm not feeling well."

She sighed, "Perhaps if you got out more instead of staying in your room all day you'd feel better! Come and eat, it'll keep your mind off that _Mandalorian_."

You scowled, fighting the urge to contradict her but couldn't find the strength to do so, instead coming up with a simple excuse. "I've been throwing up the entire day. Food won't help."

"Alright, then." She stepped away and began heading out the balcony. You found it odd she gave up so easily, though. "I'll have to call the medic for you."

"No," you whipped around to face her, and she stopped in her tracks, an expectant look on her features. The idea of having a medic come over and ask an endless amount of questions as they examine you was definitely unwanted -- and, it's not like they'll make you feel better. You knew this was something that would pass, and that you'd feel better soon enough. "I'm feeling fine now. A medic won't be necessary."

"Ah, so you're well enough to come to dinner, then?" When she received no answer and you only stood there with a frown, she continued, "Get prepared and I'll meet you in the dining room."

As soon as she exit your room, you let out a frustrated groan and stepped into your room, closing the balcony doors behind you. If you barf at the dinner table in front of the visitors, she best not blame you for it. Reluctantly, you search through your closet for a casual dinner dress. Settling for a simple tan dress along with a darker shaded belt to match with, you slipped it on and discarded the night gown you'd worn the entire day.

Upon looking at yourself in the mirror, you noted the pale color of your face, the dark circles underneath your eyes, and the mess your hair was in. You didn't feel good and you definitely weren't looking your best either. But you had absolutely no inspiration to do your makeup, so you settled for a light, simple look. Your hair remained down but of course brushed away the tangles and frizz. When you were somewhat satisfied with your appearance, you exit your room and head towards the dining room.

As you walked through the grand halls of the palace, you passed by several servants who smiled widely and bowed as courtesy towards you. With a nod, you continued on throughout the enormous palace. Anyone could get lost in this place, but not you — you were brought here at such a young age, you could say you were practically born here even though that's not true. When your mother married the king of Rainoh, you moved here with your new family, introducing your step-brother and step-father to your life. Unfortunately, they were no longer alive...

A certain worker caught your attention, one who you'd grown quite fond of. A sweet lady in her late years, who went by the name of Ninkri. She was the only one who cared for you as soon as she heard what happened, making sure to add extra goods and sweets to your dish whenever you ordered dinner to your door in hopes of cheering you up even if it were for a short amount of time. A joyful grin was plastered on her face as she made her way towards you, holding your hands within your own.

"I'm so delighted to see you out, dear. How are you feeling?"

You shrugged, "I've been vomiting since this morning... so I'm not at my best today."

Her grey eyes stared at you sympathetically, and she gave your hands a reassuring squeeze. "I'll make sure to send some tea to your room that'll help your stomach feel better, is that alright?"

As much as you wanted to give her a thankful smile, you couldn't bring yourself to do so."Of course, Ninkri, thank you. I have to go, I've got dinner to attend to."

She nodded, letting go of your hands as she retreated to carry on with her work while you continued towards the dining room again.

Once arriving, the guards opened the grand doors for you to enter. As soon as you stepped into the dining room, all attention was laid on you and you couldn't help but feel uncomfortable to see the many eyes staring at you. You took a second to examine their faces, recognizing the two men seated at the table alongside your mother. First was Condill Bromes, king of the planet Tasseth. Then his son, Declros Bromes, the prince. You met them years ago, when...

Dread hit you in realization of the purpose for this dinner. The last time you saw them, your mother suggested you become the prince's wife. But then you fell in love with Din, and as much as she despised your decision, she stopped forcing the idea upon you. No wonder she called you for this dinner -- she never did. You should've known her intentions from the start, but it was too late now. You couldn't simply walk out on them without getting into deep trouble.

"Here she is!" Condill called out, breaking you out of your pensive state.

Keeping yourself contained and attempting to hide away the emotions you were feeling, you took a seat at the table next to your mother and, unfortunately, in front of prince Declros. You only nodded at them in greeting, unable to form any words to say to them. 

" _Maker_ , you're just as gorgeous as the last time we met," the prince commented, and you held back the urge to roll your eyes and scowl. But when he stood from his seat, taking your hand in his and pressed his lips against your fingers, you couldn't help but feel disgusted and yank your hand away from him.

Your mother let out an audible gasp, "That is no way to treat our guests! Forgive me, Condill and Declros, she's just had a bad day."

You wanted to scoff. Everyday has been a bad day lately.

"No worries!" The king said, and chuckled. "It's not like that'll do anything to change the marriage proposal, right?"

You raised a brow, "I was never informed of this _marriage proposal_."

"Well, yes, Princess, that's what we're here to talk about," he explained, placing a hand on his son's shoulder. "Right, Declros?"

The prince nodded in response, but you couldn't bring yourself to reply. All that was on your mind was how desperately you wanted to retreat back to your room, or anywhere that wasn't _here_. Any other place where you wouldn't have to speak to your mother, the king and prince, or where you didn't have to talk about a damn marriage proposal you were never going to accept.

If Din were here... his mere presence here would scare off anybody who dared come near you.

Your dinner was laid out in front of you, and just the scent of it caused your nausea to return. You couldn't help but stare down at your food in disgust, attempting to contain the bile rising up in your throat.

All you could do to somewhat make the nausea go away was keep your gaze elsewhere, and you settled on keeping your attention outside the window behind Declros, where the sun had already set and snow fell gently onto the ground. Sweet memories filled your mind, memories of _Din_.

You recalled this one time when you convinced Din to play around with you in the snow after he refused multiple times, and the two of you ended up soaking wet from your snow ball fight. It was _freezing_ but neither of you cared, the two of you were having fun and just spending time with each other brought joy and happiness. Everything else going on in your life was completely ignored and forgotten during the time spent together. That was probably one of the first times you heard his laugh.

When you retreated back to your room that night and changed into a set of dry clothes, the both of you were shivering like crazy. So when you crawled into bed, Din held you close and you gave each other the warmth you needed. That night the each of you had the most peaceful sleep you'd ever had. The memory caused you to smile fondly for the first time in forever, and--

Your name was called.

"What?"

"Declros asked you a question," your mother said, and that was when you realized you had zoned out for some time while the three discussed some details.

"Oh, what was the question?"

"What do you think of the marriage proposal?" He repeated, an expectant look in his blue eyes.

You felt your breath taken away at the thought of having to answer that question and make a decision so soon. Of course the answer was no. You simply weren't emotionally ready for marriage, even if it were best for the welfare of your planet and his. With Din still constantly on your mind, you couldn't bring yourself to care about any other man. 

Heart racing, you struggled fo find the correct words to say without pissing off your mother. Though you were afraid that the only way she's be satisfied is if you accepted. You felt your face go pale and with your nausea returning yet again, the only thing you could do was race off to the nearest washroom and dump the contents from your stomach into the toilet. You completely ignored the calls from your mother and kept yourself glued to the toilet in case more were to come.

"Oh dear, not again."

At hearing the voice of Ninkri, you turned around to face her as she crouched down behind you and held your hair back so it wouldn't get in the way.

"I feel _horrible_ ," you admit.

"I'm sure you do," she acknowledged, rubbing comforting circles on your back. "Head back to your room and I'll call the medic for you. I'm sure she'll have something for you to feel better."

"No, it's fine. I have to go back to dinner, anyway. My mother has some guests over and I need to be there," you reassured her. As much as you would hate to have to return to that situation, you knew it was best to give them their answer so it would all be over already. At least, for now... certainly, your mother would attempt to get you to marry someone else at some point.

"Don't worry about that," she said as she led you out of the wash room and down the halls on the way to your room. "I'll have that taken care of. I will let them know you're not feeling well and deserve some rest."

"Thank you, Ninkri. Really."

She only smiled at you, and as soon as you reached your room she left to alert your mother and the guests. Instantly, you changed into more comfortable attire and head into bed for some rest. Your energy felt extremely low even though you'd barely done anything, though you assumed it was simply because you were ill. So you waited on your bed for the medic Ninkri called to arrive, hoping that she'll have something that would make all this terrible nausea cease.

As soon as you heard the knock on your door, you allowed the medic into your room and she immediately began her examination. After what seemed like an eternity of questions, checking your physical status, and inspecting you, it seemed she finally had her answer.

It hit you like a _bombshell_.

"You're pregnant."


	3. Compelled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You attempt to come to terms with the shocking news of your pregnancy but find it extremely difficult to do so.

__

_You're pregnant._

The words rung through your mind countless times as you struggled to comprehend the news. There was a baby -- living, breathing, _growing_ inside of you right now. No, that couldn't be possible... you couldn't be _pregnant_. How were you supposed to carry a baby for months in your womb, and continue to raise it until it was fully-grown? You were going to be a mother. This doesn't make any sense. Then... then, that meant...

_Din was the father._

That was the only possible explanation to this. You hadn't been with another man other than Din these past months, _years_ even. Suddenly, everything began to connect. Every symptom -- the horrible nausea, why you missed your cycles multiple times, the lack of energy, it all added up. It never would've crossed your mind and who knows how long you could've gone without ever realizing.

You were with child, and the father was a Mandalorian bounty hunter who left your life because _you_ told him to. It was evident you were the one to blame. Now your baby would grow without having a father there for him or her, and you would raise it lacking the support of a partner alongside you. If you hadn't forced him to leave that night, maybe he'd still be here. The two of you would probably be rejoicing at the news right about now. You wouldn't have minded having kids, as long as he was there with you.

How were you going to live like this? How could you carry on living, having a child who reminded you of the love of your life every single day? You couldn't do this... but, then the only way out of this situation would be... abortion. No, you would never do that. Take away an innocent life for your own convenience -- you weren't that selfish. You couldn't do it. Not unless you wanted to live with guilt buried deep inside you for the rest of your life.

Why did this have to happen to _you_?

That wasn't all -- there was another problem you hadn't thought of yet. The worst thing was that when your mother found out, she'd be _fuming_ with anger. She had no clue you and Din were that... intimate. It was always sneaking around with the two of you. Sure, she allowed him his own room in the palace, far away from yours. Though that didn't stop either of you, either he came to your quarters or you to his. Even without the knowledge of your nights together, your mother despised him. It was a miracle she eventually gave in and accepted your relationship.

This had to be kept secret. Though, as the time passed, it would be evident you were pregnant. No, you couldn't tell her. It was best for you, knowing you couldn't stress yourself any further than you already were. With her finding out, the only thing it would bring is extreme tension between you and your mother.

You struggled to find some positivity to this, a bright side, some sort of consolation but your mind was empty. All you could think about was how you'd failed everyone -- Din, your mother, the baby, including _you_.

After dismissing the medic, in an instant Ninkri was at your door with the tea she promised would hopefully make your stomach feel better. Though you weren't sure anything could help anymore. Maybe it would take away the nausea, but would the pit in your stomach at the thought of having to confront your mother about this disappear? You didn't think so.

"What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Realizing you had gotten lost in your thoughts again, you let a frustrated sigh escape your lips. When you only stood there with that expression of panic and anxiety written all over your face, Ninkri urged you to take a seat alongside her on your bed as she handed the cup of tea to you. "What did the medic say?"

Your hesitation did not go unnoticed by her, and she waited patiently for you to respond as you took a sip from the tepid liquid you held. You understood you could trust her with this -- in fact, she was the only person who knew about your sneaking around with Din. Plus, she was elderly and wise; she could give you some helpful advice.

"Apparently," you paused for a moment, visibly gulping before continuing. "I'm... pregnant."

Her brows raised at your statement, obviously shocked at the news. "I'm assuming with... the Mandalorian, right?"

You nodded in response, and upon noticing the tears brimming the edges of your eyes, she brought you into a comforting embrace. "Don't cry, this isn't necessarily a bad thing! Good will come out of this, you'll see."

"But what am I supposed to do?" You choked out, "I'm not fit to be a mother right now... and not to mention if my mother finds out, she will be _outraged_."

She pulled away, the familiar sympathetic look in her eyes visible. "You're going to tell her, right?"

You frowned and shook your head, wiping away a tear that had fallen. "Do you have any idea how much trouble I'll be in?"

"It's best to let her know," she suggested. "You'll eventually show, and if she finds out herself it'll only make the situation worse."

As much as you detested the idea, she had reason. With a reluctant nod, you agreed with her. "I know. But not after what happened today... what did she say about it?"

"She certainly wasn't content," she stated, and you frowned again. "But the guests understood."

With a grateful expression on your face, you thanked her and allowed her to return back to work. Now that left you to deal with your thoughts alone yet again, and as you stared outside towards the twin moons that had recently risen from the horizon, you began to wonder whether Din would've wanted children as well. The conversation had never risen between you two, and the thought of what you could've been caused the tears to continue falling.

Deciding you deserved some sleep after the long, grueling day, you finished your tea and climbed into the comfort of your bed underneath the cozy blankets. Almost instantly, your drowsiness allowed you to get your much needed sleep, even with all the what-ifs swirling around your mind. At least now you were at peace...

Temporarily.

Once you had fallen into a deep sleep, your rest was disturbed with terrible nightmares. Images of your step-father and step-brother invaded your dreams, taking over your mind at the worst possible moment. You were only five when they were assassinated in the middle of the night, and nobody ever found out who the murderer was. For years, security was heightened in the palace and nobody was able to come through and get to you or your mother. Though eventually, it was decided that people would finally be allowed to enter but only with direct authorization from you or the queen. Of course, you never let anyone in whom you didn't recognize, but your mother? She didn't seem to care and before you knew it, there were complete strangers in the palace.

The thought of someone sneaking into the palace again to kill you or your mother for whatever purpose terrified you to the core. But when Din came into your life... oh, he made you feel like _nobody_ could _ever_ get to you. And now, in your horrible nightmare, you dreamt about the same murderer who killed off half of your family, coming to murder _your_ child. Din wasn't there to protect it, nor was he there to protect you.

None of it was his fault, though. You were the guilty one here, for driving him off when you should've worked the problem out.

You jolt awake, sitting up from your previous laying position as you strive to catch your breath. Whenever you found yourself in a mentally-draining situation, you seemed to have nightmares each time. The overwhelming news earlier only triggered your bad dreams, and you knew you couldn't doze off anymore. Not tonight.

The last time you had a nightmare... Din was there for you.

It seemed like everything reminded him of you now. Snow storm? Reminds you of that one time when you and Din were stuck in his ship, along with a broken heater, huddling together for warmth. Your balcony? Made you think of the hours you two spent, relaxing together on the balcony after an exhausting and frustrating day. Now, nightmares? You recalled when he was always by your side in an instant, rubbing comforting circles on your back as you spoke to him about your dream.

So for the remaining of the night, you found yourself unable to go back to sleep. Luckily, the tea worked wonderfully and you no longer felt the nausea that plagued you the entire day. But that didn't take your mind off the inevitability of what was to come. Telling your mother was a must, whether you wanted to or not. Like Ninkri said, it would be best for you, and for your unborn baby. You wouldn't want to have to hide your growing belly, and what would happen when it was time for you to give birth? Hiding it from your mother would be strenuous and was certainly not the circumstances you wanted your child to grow up in.

After a long night of tossing and turning with thousands of issues raiding your brain, the early morning light seeped through the balcony's glass doors. Usually, you were up later in the day, especially since you weren't feeling well. Now, you were fed up with staying in bed and decided to get up already.

It was time you told your mother.

It's better to get it over with sooner than later, and whatever punishment she presents you with you were going to have to deal with anyway. Dread sunk into the pit of your stomach, and you tried to push it away with no avail. You sighed before heading off to your closet and picking out a casual dress for a short stroll around the palace. You didn't even bother ordering any breakfast to your door — your nausea hasn't returned quite yet, but it seemed like your appetite had simply disappeared. Perhaps it would return soon, knowing that now you were eating for two.

Exiting your room, you head down the ginormous halls of the palace to head towards the garden. Your mother enjoyed wandering around early in the mornings through the numerous plants the garden contained, and you completely understood her. It was exceptionally calming to hear the rustling leaves of the trees, the birds chirping, singing, chattering nearby, and watching the snow falling softly against the ground. You would find yourself visiting the garden as well, especially during a demanding day.

Normally, you'd feel at peace knowing you were headed to the gardens. But not now — not when you had to tell your mother news she would likely be disappointed to hear.

"What are you doing up this early in the morning?"

Hearing your mother's voice broke you out of your pensive state, and only then did you realize you had frozen right at the gates of the garden when you entered. You unwillingly made your way towards her, hoping that you weren't showing any signs of the nervousness and uneasiness from within you.

"Couldn't sleep," you simply stated as you stopped right beside her, in front of a flamboyant flower she observed.

"It's about time you leave your room on your own," she quipped, a hint of taunting in her voice. "I was beginning to think you never would."

Biting back the urge to roll your eyes and bark out a cutting retort, you kept silent and focused on the flower in front of your as you calculated your words carefully. One wrong word and the conversation would easily make a dramatic turn to the worst.

"How was it like when you found out you were pregnant with me?" You asked, hoping you weren't giving off any hints about your own pregnancy. She shouldn't suspect anything... right?

A small grin that was barely visible appeared on her lips as she recalled the many memories she had. "I was certainly astonished. By then your father had already passed away. Realizing I was carrying his child without him ever knowing pained me a bit, but then I got over it."

You had never met your biological father since he passed on from a terrible sickness. But, surprisingly, the king of Rainoh fell in love with her, which led to their marriage. Just as you thought you had someone as close to a father as he could get, he was murderer along with his son. Maybe you just didn't deserve such a joy.

Though, you wondered how your mother had gotten over the death of your father so easily. Din had only left you, he was likely still alive, but sometimes you feel like you'll never get over it such as your mother did. That—

"What brings you here, daughter?"

Your gaze snaps from the flower you pretended to inspect to her — yet again you were found lost in your thoughts. It was becoming a bad habit. "What, I can't come out here to enjoy my morning?" You asked, and you felt your heart accelerate a thousand times as your nerves took over.

"You have something to tell me," she stated. "Go ahead."

Of course she was bound to catch on — you were never awake this early to head to the garden, and whenever you did decide to it was late in the afternoon when the sun was setting. You looked down at your toes, fidgeting with your clammy fingers as you carefully thought of the correct words to say...

"I'm pregnant," you blurted out.

 _Great. That's not how it was supposed to go_.

"I know."

Your head whipped to face her, and you hoped the look of fear in your eyes wasn't too obvious. "What?"

"The medic informed me last night." She sighed, and you could clearly see the dismay written all over her expression. But she was taking this... a lot better than expected. "And don't think I don't know who the father is."

You kept your silence, afraid of saying something wrong and immediately igniting a heated argument between the two.

"I have invited the king and prince of Trasseth over for dinner one last time. You will accept their marriage proposal and raise your child with Declros."

Rage rose up within you, your blood boiling at the thought of having to be forced to marry a man you didn't even love. It seemed she had thought about this for a while already. "What? N—"

"You will _not_ object," with her voice rising, you remained quiet until she finished. "You should've realized the consequences of your actions. I am not going to have a daughter who's carrying the child of someone who's disappeared! And not to mention, he's not even royalty. Everyone will know of this embarrassment, and if you don't marry the prince there _will_ be severe punishment for this."

The thought of marrying Declros and having to spend even one night with him to pretend your baby was his disgusted you. Your heart pounded beneath your chest and you wanted to scream — to break into tears and cry, because nothing at all was going your way. Everything has been pain and suffering since the day you took the stupid decision of forcing Din out of your land and all you could do was sit around in your room all day, depressed, moping, sulking. And now you have to marry someone you didn't even recognize. The situation seemed to be getting better and better each time.

But you had no other choice. She was obviously embarrassed about this. You knew there would be consequences once you told her, and now you're confronting them.

You couldn't bring yourself to say anything else or else you'd break down into sobs with all this pressure pushing you down, and the only thing on your mind now was get to your room as soon as possible. And when you were finally in the safety of your quarters, you let it all out. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you sat on your bed and buried your face in your hands which trembled violently. In your mind, you knew you had to calm down -- it wasn't good for you or your baby to be this distressed. But it was extremely difficult to keep tranquil in a moment like this.

Yet the only person who could heal you and get you out of this situation was out of reach.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just as you believe you're pulling your life together, something always seems to occur to mess it all up.

Despite your protests, the marriage proposal was accepted.

Not by you, but by your mother. The entire dinner you spent in complete silence, unable to form the correct words to say. With your emotions all over the place and in a complete mess, you felt as though if you opened your mouth to speak, you'd end up shooting an insult back at them or something you would end up regretting later on. Instead, your mother stepped in to declare the news. And now, unfortunately, you were engaged to the prince of Tasseth without even accepting it yourself.

The details were worked out between them while you quietly ate your food. Without uttering a word, you attempted to zone out of the conversation so you wouldn't have to think about it. But with how boisterously excited they were, you couldn't help but listen in whether you wanted to or not. In that moment, your nausea returned but you kept yourself contained — if you happened to run off again, your mother would certainly react worse than the previous time.

Apparently, this would bring unison between the two planets — with new trade routes created, it offered many goods and services transferred over to Rainoh from Tasseth and vise versa. That was one was the main reasons this marriage was arranged, as well as unlimited access to the planets from both sides. Though the only cause for you to do this was for your unborn baby. While they would certainly benefit greatly...

You surely wouldn't.

All this only brought stress to yourself, which was inconvenient for your baby. But there was no other solution, and it was best to get over with it already. Who knows, it's possible you could get used to it as the time passed? Or maybe you'd live the rest of your life feeling dejected, without ever remembering how it felt like to be content. You hoped not.

As the day of your ceremony neared, your anxiety sprouted with each passing second at the thought of it. You truly wished you didn't have to go through this, but it was your only choice. If only you could escape the planet, away from these difficult circumstances... but then, you'd have no place to go. Not to mention you have an important responsibility here, and that is become queen of Rainoh once your mother took the decision to retire.

As much as you desired to break free from all these issues, escaping was nearly impossible and the chances of successfully doing so were slim. You were certain that once your mother learned of your sneaking out, she would send out search parties for you. Besides, since you hadn't traveled out of Rainoh much, you would have no idea where to hide.

Din would know. 

Din could get you out of this, take you to a safe planet where you could have your baby in peace. But he was nowhere to be found — you couldn't even contact him. Even if you were to keep separated in the end, he could help you. Knowing him, you only needed to ask and he'd oblige immediately. Then you could spend the rest of your life someplace else without having to worry about marry someone you hardly recognized, let alone loved. And you could bring your child into the world peacefully.

How you yearned for something like that.

During the preparations for the future ceremony, you found yourself simply sitting back and allowing everyone else to take over. Which was completely fine with you; it's not like you cared about it anyway. The dress, makeup, decorations, location, everything — it was all chosen for you by people your mother assigned. You didn't have to lift a single finger, and you were glad for it. You had absolutely no inspiration whatsoever to be planning a whole ceremony you didn't even want to participate in.

Then came the inevitable day.

You were actually quite amazed at what the workers managed to arrange during the limited amount of time they had — it had only been a mere couple of weeks, while if you had done it yourself it would've taken months, possibly even more. The ceremony was located outside the palace, facing out towards the towering, gorgeous mountains. Per usual, the landscape was filled with snow but that didn't do anything to ruin the beauty of it. On the contrary, it was magnificent — just as you were.

With the lovely white dress that showed off your curves along with the makeup complimenting your looks, you were absolutely breath-taking and captured the attention of everyone around.

It was basically everything most girls dreamed of for their wedding.

Not you. Not when you were forced to do this. You always imagined you would be marrying a certain Mandalorian, not a man you didn't feel any connection towards at all. And to have to raise a child with him that wasn't even his made it even worse. So the entire time at the ceremony, you were extremely miserable. Though you hoped that out of the hundreds of people assisting, nobody would notice your despair.

You wanted so desperately to run away and head to the safety of your quarters. The countless unfamiliar faces surrounding you only made you feel terrible — it was a good thing you had decided to take that tea before heading out here. You only wanted to lock yourself up, curl up into a ball beneath the covers of your bed and forget about everything... it was a horrible feeling you longed to get rid of already.

You just wanted Din.

Correction, you _needed_ Din. You needed him there, comforting you, assuring you everything would be alright, that he'd be there for you and never leave your side. You were so, _so_ worn out... not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well. You needed peace, some relaxation, someone there for you. It pained you knowing that never in your life would you have him back, all because of you. It was your fault you were suffering like this, and you could never forgive yourself for all the pain and problems you caused.

After the ceremony, you had to spend that one night with the prince. Let's just say you didn't enjoy it. It was only for once, you continued reminding yourself. At least, when eventually you would tell him of your pregnancy, he would believe it was his. So would everyone else. Nobody would even suspect that he wasn't the real father.

And so, as the time passed, you ended up informing him of your pregnancy. He was joyful upon hearing the news, and you tried your best to act cheerful along him as well. He was definitely not the person you wanted to share this moment with, but was what needed to be done. This was the entire reason you decided to go along with this, or else you wouldn't have gone through with it at all. You hoped your mother was satisfied — all this you had been forced to do was because of her.

You could've continued on completely fine, letting everyone know that Din was indeed the father, and that he was no longer coming back. You did find yourself surprisingly... forgetting him as the months passed by. Maybe you could move on completely. One day. Just not anytime soon. 

But on the bright side, your nausea disappeared and luckily, your appetite returned. Each day you found yourself waking as if you hadn't eaten in days, and today was no different.

As soon as you opened your eyes, you were met with your stomach growling and begging for food. In in instant, you were up and ordering food by one of the workers passing by the entrance of your quarters. In a short amount of time, your much deserved breakfast arrived at your doorstep. Normally, you would head off to the dining room to eat along with your mother now that you were feeling much better than before. But since she traveled off-planet over to Tasseth for now, you preferred to eat in the comfort of your room. Sometimes it seemed your mother was more excited about this marriage than you.

Well, that's because she is.

Just as you finished up your breakfast, a familiar sound filled your ears. It didn't seem to be coming from inside the palace, and you found yourself peering from within your room outside the balcony though you couldn't seem to spot anything from where you sat. The noise continued and you struggled to recall why you recognized it...

The _Razor Crest_.

Countless ships have landed on Rainoh but the _Crest_ had a certain rumbling that was all too familiar from the innumerable times it had landed on this planet. Instantly, you found yourself standing and dashing outside into the balcony and immediately catching sight of the well-known ship as it lowered itself into the hangar. It seemed like the Mandalorian had gotten himself into some trouble with how beat up and worn out the ship appeared.

What the hell is he doing here?

How could he return after months without any contact whatsoever? You weren't exactly sure how to feel. Should you be cheerful to finally see him again? Irritated because he left you for so long? Or maybe you should cry. Your emotions were all over the place and you had no idea how to deal with them. You couldn't come up with a logical reaction, only standing there with a shocked expression on your face as you stared at the unexpected guest's arrival.

You visibly gulped as the fully-armorer Mandalorian exit the hangar and head towards the gate of the palace. There was a split second of eye contact with him when he glanced up towards your balcony, knowing full well where your quarters were located. You remained quiet, watching as he continued forward.

This couldn't be happening. He couldn't simply return just as you were beginning to pull your life together. Did he have any idea of what you'd been through because of him? Probably not. He likely had no clue about your marriage either. You needed to get him out of here as soon as possible — both for you and for him, because if your mother found out he came back you weren't sure how she would react. And you couldn't go back to the way you were before... you would make sure that wouldn't occur ever again.

A knock was heard on your door, and you feared it was Din for a moment only for it to be one of the workers of the palace. "Good morning, Princess," he greeted as he bowed in curtesy. "A Mandalorian has requested to enter the palace, would you allow it or deny?"

Of course you were the first one they would head to for permission. With your mother gone, you were left with the responsibility to decide who would be allowed to enter and who could not. "Let him in," you instantly replied without thinking of your decision whatsoever. It was a good thing your mother had decided to head off to Tasseth, or else she would've declined the request in the blink of an eye.

With a nod, he turned to leave while declaring the approval into his comms unit.

Though you knew you should keep away from Din and let the workers handle him, you found yourself heading off to the gates of the palace to meet with him. This would make it tougher to get over him than it already has been, but you couldn't help yourself. So as you hastened through the halls of the palace, your mind swirled with thousands of emotions, thoughts, and questions that were soon to be answered.

And there he was — the man you thought you'd never see again. The Mandalorian you shared immeasurable amount of time with, going through blissful moments as well as grueling hours of arguments. Someone you loved immensely and would do anything for, yet he wouldn't do the same and instead preferred his bounty hunting over you.

You couldn't decide whether you wanted to hug him or scream at him.

Though you kept yourself contained, dismissing the guards trailing behind him with a nod of your head, before stepping over to the Mandalorian with a plain expression plastered all over your face. It was a grueling attempt to keep your emotions in check, yet you weren't certain how well you were succeeding.

"What do you need, Mandalorian?" you asked, your voice dripping with a hostility you didn't mean to reveal.

"My ship is in need of repairs," he stated, and you hadn't realized how much you longed to hear the familiar heavily-modulated voice of his. You observed as he stole a brief glance at your swollen belly before quickly tilting his visor up to your face again. He was bound to notice your pregnancy, though you weren't showing much it was still perceivable. "I'm willing to pay whatever is necessary."

"Very well," you nodded. "I'll send a few pit droids to check out your ship. We'll discuss the payment later."

You turned to leave only for him to stop you, calling your name and causing you to halt.

"No droids."

"Right," you deadpanned, the hatred he had for droids now fresh in your mind. "How could I forget."

For a moment, you only stood there as you stared into the T-visor, your mind swirling with something else to say. You desired to continue speaking to him though you knew it was no longer appropriate, and that the only reason he was here is to repair his ship and end up leaving anyway. Just as you opened your mouth to say something, he interrupted you.

"I need the repairs done as soon as possible," he added. "I've got to head off quick."

Of course — always leaving rapidly. Some things seem to never change.

You only gave him a nod before this time leaving for sure, alerting one of the workers to send some repairmen to the hangar. Then you continued heading off to your room with tears brimming the corner of your eyes, your lip quivered slightly as you tried to prevent the tears from falling. This was a bad idea and you knew that; the workers were there for a reason, they could've taken control of the situation, but no — you chose to make things worse for yourself. Now you have to deal with it, and —

"Princess," a worker called for your attention. Wiping away a stray tear from your cheek, you took a deep breath and turned around to face him. "The queen has requested to speak to you in the comms center."

Kriff. Did she hear of Din already?

Word truly spread swiftly, and one of the workers possibly informed her as soon as the _Crest_ landed. With a nod towards the worker, you continued the opposite direction towards the comms center. Really, you only wanted to be in the tranquility of your room but it wasn't possible. A million things swirled around your mind on your way to meet with your mother. If she did indeed find out, how would she react? Demand the guards to chase him off? Would she command you to personally tell him to leave, make things more difficult for you?

As soon as you entered the room filled with dozens of different forms of communication and technology, you head over to the middle where you met with the glowing hologram of your mother, standing as she awaited your arrival. You greeted her as soon as you caught your attention.

"The prince and I are on a ship back to Rainoh right now," she stated. "He says he wants to see you, and so the three of us are going to have a short lunch together before he has to return to his duties. So, I need you to get prepared. We should be there soon."

You let go of a breath you hadn't realized you were holding. You managed a smile, "Thank you for notifying me."

Her blue presence disappeared from the comms after she dismissed herself, and now you were stepping away towards your quarters.

Only then did you realize that Din was still here.

Your mother was bound to recognize the Razor Crest. If he didn't leave immediately, the two of you would be in deep trouble. Not to mention Declros — your husband, as much as you despised the sound of that — was returning as well. Out of all the days he could've visited, he chose today.

Din had to leave. Now.

Even if the Crest wasn't completely fixed up, he needed to, to avoid the problems that would certainly come. You didn't need anymore issues and stress in your life than you already had.

You hurried through the halls of the palace as quick as you could, keeping in mind you should br extra careful due to your baby. As soon as you reached the gates, you noticed Din was no longer there. He must have head back to his ship already. The guards opened the gate upon your request, and you exit to continue towards the ship's hangar.

 _Maker_ , did that ship bring back old, bittersweet memories. The entire reason you met Din was because of this ship. It was just like today — he was in dire need of repairs and Rainoh was the closest planet to him. Of course, the queen obliged and helped him out, though she had no clue what would occur in the future.

There was an instant connection between you two. The Mandalorian found himself returning every once in a while, even when his ship was completely fine... just to see you. At first it was just you conversing with him, touring him throughout the palace. Though eventually, that turned into shameless flirting, stolen glances, secret touches, and plenty of sneaking into his ship or him to your room. If it weren't for that ship you wouldn't even be here.

Maybe it would've been better that way.

You passed through the multiple repairmen working on the _Crest_ before knocking on the closed side-entrance of the ship. In an instant, the ramp hissed as it lowered itself, causing you to back up a few steps until it was wide open. Your gaze met with the familiar figure of Din, his helmet slightly tilted at you as he leaned onto the frame of the entrance.

" _Djarin_ ," you urged, stepping upon the ramp until you stood directly in front of him, your head tipping up to face with his dark visor. "You need to leave."

His voice modulator crackled as he scoffed, "Of course I do."

Your raised an eyebrow, "Oh? What is that supposed to mean?"

"I return simply for repairing my ship yet you're still holding onto the past and chasing me off," he argued. He stood straighter now, aggravation visible in his stance as he towered over you. "Seems like things haven't changed much around here."

"I'm not-- I'm not chasing you off!" you growled, crossing your arms as you attempted to stand taller. "Besides, you're the one _constantly_ leaving so don't go blaming _me_."

"I have my reasons--"

"Yeah, _bounty hunting_ , that's _all_ you care about," you shook your head, releasing a shaky breath upon realizing how piercing cold while you only wore a simple sleeveless dress.

You had no idea what you were so aggravated about if you were the one who drove him away from your life. It's like you couldn't keep yourself contained any longer, whether it was simply your hormones going crazy because of your pregnancy or you couldn't hold in the mess your emotions were in anymore, you weren't certain. But what you were completely sure of was that Din didn't deserve this kind of hostility towards him.

He sighed, and he seemed to notice how chilled you were because he gestured for you to enter his ship, "Come on, it's too cold for you to be out here."

You opened your mouth to decline until he placed a gentle gloved hand on your arm, and you couldn't seem to resist. He pulled you into the ship, closing up the ramp behind you as you stepped inside. Though you didn't feel any warmer upon entering, and you knew exactly why. "Heater's still broken," you noted.

"I've been wanting to get that fixed. Haven't had the time, been caught up with..." he trailed off, calculating his words carefully.

"Bounties," you finished. "As usual."

He didn't respond.

You took a moment to examine the complete mess the ship was in -- misplaced, random nets in certain places, and it smelled of... fish? That was new. "Damn, where have you been?" you quipped.

"Like I said," he paused for a split second as he unwrapped his cape from around his neck and placing it over your shoulders, "I've run into some trouble."

You pulled the cape closer to yourself, containing the warmth while you peered up at him again, a small yet thankful smile on your lips. "Thanks."

Your heart almost leapt out of your chest at hearing a strange shrieking, followed by a shuffling sound. It came from the closed compartment Din used as his cot, and you whipped your head to face it, your eyebrows furrowing, "What's that?"

"Nothing, just-- just stay there," he urged, and you watched with a skeptical look on your face as he made his way over to the cot. Though when he opened it, you couldn't spot whatever was inside from where you stood. What was in there whimpered quietly, and Din whispered something you couldn't make out.

Your curiosity got the best of you and you began to take slow steps closer, trying to peer inside the cot to catch a glimpse. But when Din noticed you, he turned around, blocking the compartment with his body as he closed it up with a push of a button. "What's in there?" you questioned, suspicion visibly in your expression.

He hesitated for a moment as he searched for the correct words, "It's best you don't know."

"No, I think it's best I _do_ know," you insisted, stepping closer and aiming to press the button which opened up the cot. His hand came up to carefully grasp your wrist, only for you to bring your other hand up and for him to do the same.

" _Cyar'ika_ ," he whispered, a hint of rebuke in his tone as he softly lowered your hands from the control frame of the cot.

Your heart fluttered at the name he used to call you so often, and you hadn't realized how much you longed hearing it from him until now. You found yourself distracted by how close you were standing to him, so near you swore you could make out the outline of his eyes for a second. His gloved hands still held on to your soft ones, his fingers tenderly caressing your knuckles.

While all you desired was to lean into his touch even more, you pulled away from him. You couldn't do this -- catch feelings again, it'll only make things more difficult than they already are. "What could possibly be so bad that you can't show me?" you questioned, eyes narrowing at him.

"I promise you, it's nothing bad. I just fear it'll put you in danger, I don't need you involved in this," he explained. "Trust me."

An obnoxious banging filled your ears, realizing someone was knocking on the ship's entrance. The two of you instantly went to investigate, Din heading over to open the ramp as you peered outside one of the viewports. You assumed it was simply one of the repairmen, but when you caught sight of your mother standing in front of the ship, your heart dropped.

"Din, no--"

It was too late. The ramp already lowered itself, and you found yourself backing up to hide yourself from view. If your mother caught you here, she would personally _kill_ Din just before killing you. For some reason, you found yourself letting out a short giggle, realizing you were reliving the times when you would often hide from your mother just to be with Din.

You could tell Din was shocked at meeting with her, but he continued down the ramp to speak with her. From where you stood, you couldn't listen in on their conversation as much as you wanted to. So you remained in place, in fear of her spotting you while you attempted to hear them.

After a few minutes, Din returned, closing up the ramp behind him as you stepped forward from your hiding spot. "What did she say?"

You recognized the way his helmet tilted in confusion, "She invited me to lunch?"

"What?" you raised a brow. That's... oddly hospitable. "You don't have to go, I don't know what she wants..."

"I'll go," he stated. "But I'll need to return soon."

"Why, because of what's in there?" you pointed towards his cot.

He shrugged, "Maybe."

You sighed and let out a slight chuckle, "I guess I'll head back to the palace before my mother realizes I'm gone..." You began unwrapping yourself from Din's cape, handing it over to him. "I'll see you there, then."

He nodded, "See you, then."

As you left the ship and head towards the gates of the palace, you found yourself unsure of all this. For your mother to invite the Mandalorian she held a certain hatred towards was definitely unusual. You could only hope she didn't have anything malicious planned for him.


	5. Reminisced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While you welcome your Mandalorian guest into the palace as he awaits the repairs to his ship to complete, you find yourselves unknowingly drifting closer to each other despite your many disputes.

After preparing yourself in your quarters, you just so happen to bump into Din on your way to the dining room. Neither of you uttered a word to each other, the entire walk there spent in a tense silence. You couldn't seem to form any words that _wouldn't_ spark an argument between you two, and that was the last thing you needed at the moment. It would make this lunch more awkward than it already would be, that's for certain.

Once entering the dining room alongside the beskar-clad Mandalorian, you're instantly greeted by the prince of Tasseth as he stood from his seat and stepped towards you in greeting. You knew what he was looking for after so long without seeing each other — it had been a couple months since he took off to take care of his own responsibilities. He leaned in for a kiss, aiming for your lips though when you shifted slightly he had no other choice than to place one on your cheek instead. You weren't in the mood to pretend-kiss, after all. Especially not in front of Din. If he didn't know about your marriage already, he must have realized right about now.

Stealing a brief glance back at him, you noted the way his visor trailed around anywhere that wasn't on you or the prince. Your heart dropped, shattering into a million pieces at the thought of you causing him to feel bad. You wanted nothing more than to assure him that you didn't love Declros at all, that this was simply an arranged marriage you didn't even accept, that the baby was _his_...

Maybe you were thinking about it too much. Perhaps he didn't even feel anything towards this — that he was solely averting his gaze to give you guys your privacy.

You shook the thoughts out of your head, stepping towards the dinner table alongside the prince as your mother welcomed both you and your Mandalorian guest. Your mind wandered back to _why_ your mother even suggested for Din to come over and eat, knowing full well your past with him. Not to mention she detested him; so, none of this made coherent sense.

The three of you sat at the table, Din taking the seat directly in front of you and right besides Declros — which may be a bit uncomfortable for him... actually, this entire lunch must be out of his comfort zone. You had no clue why he even accepted. If it were just to see you for an extended amount of time or if he — being the respectful man he's always been — didn't want to refuse the offer and make your mother feel bad about it. If the latter were the case, you would've told him it didn't matter, that your mother wouldn't have been offended if he declined.

Well, too late now.

As always, you spent most of the time in complete quietude while eating from your dish. No, more like devouring it. You couldn't help it. You're pregnant, eating for two. Well, your hunger wasn't exactly the only reason you kept silent. Partly because your mother and the prince wouldn't quit rambling off about Tasseth, Rainoh, all that political planetary crap you didn't give a kriff about.

Poor Din spent the entire time having to listen in on their boring conversation and watch the rest eat while he couldn't, due to his Creed. Perhaps that was the single reason the queen had invited him over — to make him suffer for returning. If that were true, that was a horridly loathsome plan you wished you had known and alerted Din about it before he came over. While Din made the blood boil in your veins and made you want to yell at him at times, you wouldn't ever desire this for him. He didn't deserve that. Your mother couldn't seem to understand it. 

Though when the conversation was directed to him instead, you knew that made this situation even worse for him. "Why haven't you eaten, Mandalorian?" Your mother questioned, the familiar taunting lacing her tone especially audible. She recognized exactly why he couldn't eat in front of them, and you finally concluded that her shrewd intention of requesting him over was only to bring misery to him. "Is the cooking bad? Not your taste?"

He shook his head before politely declining, "I'm sure the food is just fine. But it's forbidden for me to remove my helmet in front of others. I can't eat right now."

The prince raised a brow at his statement, peering over at the fully-armored Mandalorian. "Really? Not even someone you truly love is allowed to see your face?"

Tension filled the air at the question. You knew the full meaning behind that question, you and Din both did. Declros undoubtedly knew about your past with Din, and you suspected he was in on this little plan the queen had as well. You visibly gulped, your eyes lowering as you leaned back in your chair, only wanting to sink away into your seat, and certainly Din felt the same from the overwhelming pressure laid on him.

He only responded with a shake of his head.

Yet the prince wasn't quite finished with his questions. "Not even in the case of an emergency? What if the only way to save someone was to remove your helmet?"

Now he crossed a line there.

"Well!" You interrupted once noticing Din beginning to struggle in finding a response, while also hoping to change the conversation. You couldn't put Din through this — he didn't have to answer Declros, nor did the prince have the right to even question his Creed. Your gaze met with the black visor of Din's helmet before you continued, "Lunch was great! I think the Mandalorian is needed back at the ship's hangar, correct? I believe the repairs are completed by now — if not, then the repairmen must be close to finishing."

 _Lies_. That ship was in terrible condition, it would take rotations to fully fix. You hoped Din would pick up on your intent to get him out of this situation instead of assuming you were chasing him off again.

Din nodded in approval, "Yes. I should check on my ship right now. Thank you for the invitation, though."

"That's fine. If the repairs aren't quite finished yet then feel free to take one of our rooms," your mother suggested.

Again, being strangely hospitable. Very unlike her.

Maybe she had something further planned than to simply bother the Mandalorian here at the table. Hopefully, Din noticed her suspicious act and wouldn't accept.

"Thank you," he said as he stood from the table. "But I'm sure I'll be okay in my ship."

You shared a quick glance with him before he dismissed himself, walking out of the dining room. You let out a breath and pushed your empty plate previously filled with food away from you, indicating your full stomach. "I'll be resting in my quarters in case either of you need me," you stated before briskly standing from the table and leaving as well.

Though instead of heading towards your room, you walked towards the gates — to Din. No matter how many times you told yourself this was a _bad idea,_ youcouldn't seem to control yourself as you continued through the halls, hastily attempting to catch up with the Mandalorian before he exit the palace. You weren't sure what impulsed you to do this but it was all on your mind now.

Once meeting up with him just before he reached the gate, his visor turned to face you as if expecting an explanation for your little pursuit. You struggled to find an excuse to speak with him, finally settling with, "Can I at least walk you to your ship?"

The two of you continued stepping closer towards the gates as you spoke. "I appreciate it but no, it's okay."

You were downright disappointed at his response, and couldn't help but feel a certain annoyance towards him. "I see your stubbornness hasn't change either," you muttered loud enough for him to hear. In an instant, you closed your mouth, wanting nothing more than to take back those words.

He stopped in his tracks in front of you, causing you to halt as well and almost crash into him. You stared up into his dark visor, a menacing glare plastered all over your face. With the tilt of his helmet, you could tell you ignited yet another argument. "We're gonna do this again? Continue arguing until I'm gone and you never see me again?"

You sighed, dropping your glare and attempting to take control over yourself before you said anything else you would regret in the future. "No, Din. I don't want to _argue_ anymore, I'm _tired_ of that. But I need to know one thing," you paused while thinking over your words correctly. Sucking in a sharp breath, you continued. "Did you... get sick of me?"

The quiver in your voice didn't go unnoticed. He didn't respond and you could tell he was taken aback by your accusation. "Just tell me," you shrugged your shoulders. "It... it doesn't matter anymore, honestly."

Of course it mattered to you. Or else you wouldn't be on the verge of breaking down into sobs right now.

It seemed like he was calculating his words for an eternity, and eventually you gave up with a shake of your head. "Forget it. You can head back to your ship, I don't care."

You pulled away from him, continuing the opposite direction only for him to call your name. You halted upon hearing his voice, your head whipping around to face him in hopes of him having an answer. Though when he couldn't seem to find a response, only standing there with a certain slump to his shoulders you recognized when he was at a loss for words, you turned without looking back this time.

His footsteps were heard as he made his way towards the gates, and suddenly you felt a sharp breeze find its way towards you. You shivered, furrowing your brows as you spun around to find the source of the piercing wind blowing into the palace. That's when you noticed the powerful snowstorm hailing down on the planet of Rainoh, Din standing in front of the open gates as his cape swished from side to side due to the violent gusts.

The guards immediately closed up the gates, denying access for Din to leave. Yet he continued insisting, despite the obvious signs of a dangerous storm that could put his life at risk. There was a certain urgency in his voice as he let the guards know about the importance of him returning to the ship, yet they didn't let him through.

You sighed as he continued quarreling with the guards. Reluctantly, you stepped over to him. "Mandalorian," you called. He froze for a moment upon hearing your familiar voice, before his visor shifted to face you. "Come with me."

As you spun around, from the corner of your eye you caught the hesitation in his stance before he decided to follow. He trailed closely behind you as the two of you walked in complete silence, only the sound of your footsteps audible as you led him down the grand hallways of the palace. Once arriving at the entrance of your room, you twisted the knob to open up the door and reveal your quarters. "Come on," you gestured for him to enter when you noticed the way he paused. "You'll be able to see your ship from my balcony if that'll help."

He then stepped inside before you closed the door behind him. By the way his visor trailed all around your room, you could tell he was reminiscing in certain memories made in this exact place. You let out a quiet sigh, shuffling past his armored figure to get to the glass balcony doors. Since snow was now teeming down, it was impossible to be able to stand outside for even five seconds before being completely covered in the white substance. Good thing was, you had a little something installed whenever you were found under these circumstances.

With a push of a lever found on the side of the doors, a tinted glass began appearing as it lowered itself from the top of the balcony to the bottom, until it surrounded the entire place. Now that the snow no longer blew inside, it was safe to open up the balcony doors. The two of you stepped outside, "You can't be at your ship right now, but... at least you'll be able to see it from here, if that's any consolation."

He frantically searched for signs of anything wrong occurring at the ship which looked totally fine to you. The repairmen seemed to have had to evacuate for the time being, until the storm eventually passed away. Your thoughts were surrounded by questions about what the hell he was even hiding in that ship of his that was so important. Though you assumed you would never find out.

"Thank you," he finally said after a moment of quietness.

With a nod, the two of you lifted your heads to watch over the grueling snowstorm ahead of you. Another period of time without speaking took over, the thick tension once again returning and filling the air between you two. You glanced down to your toes, your mind racing to come up with some sort of conversation starter to end the awkwardness enveloping you. Just as you opened your mouth to say something, you're interrupted.

"I was never sick of you." 

Your eyes remained glued to your shoes in an attempt to keep the tears forming in your eyes from being visible to him.

"I'm sorry... if my actions made you believe that. I'm not the best with words, and... feelings — that sort of stuff."

Biting your lip, you now remember full well how he could never seem to share his emotions willingly to you. Now you just felt guilty for accusing him of that, your gaze lifting to meet with his T-visor. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have even mentioned that."

"Don't worry about it."

You managed a soft smile to form on your lips before you both directed your attention ahead again. This time, during your quietude, it felt slightly more comfortable.

In your peripheral vision, you caught Din stealing a glance down at your belly again. Then, "How long 'till you're due?"

Automatically assuming he was speaking about the baby, you responded with, "Halfway through already. Should be another five months left."

"You know the gender yet?"

You couldn't help the gentle grin appear on your face at realizing Din showed an interest towards your baby, despite him having no idea it was even _his_.

"Nope," you answered. "I decided to keep it a surprise until its born."

"I'm happy for you."

There was a tinge of regret, and gloom in his tone only you would be able to pick up through the heavily-modulated voice. You wanted to tell him, _so bad_. But you couldn't put him through that — he was going to have to leave anyway. If he knew the baby was his, it would make it even more difficult for him. Whether you wanted to believe it or not, it was in his best interest for him to not have that sort of knowledge.

"Thank you," you beamed up at him.

Then you felt it.

A flutter, coming from your womb. Your baby was moving inside of you, and for the first time ever you could actually _feel_ it. It was a euphoric moment, and you couldn't help but let out a short gasp upon realizing it. Your fingers moved to your small, swollen belly in an attempt to perceive it with your own hands.

"What? What's wrong, are you alright?"

A gloved hand was placed on your shoulder, and your eyes flickered to the man who tilted his helmet in concern for you. You chuckled at the thought of him immediately assuming the worst when he heard your surprise.

"No, nothing! I just... I think I felt the baby moving, for the first time." Softly, you grasped Din's free hand and brought it down until it was placed over your belly for him to feel it for himself. "Can you feel it? It was right here."

The flittering continued in that same spot, though Din didn't seem to be able to notice it. "I can't feel anything," he answered, the disappointment in his voice audible. You could tell he was intrigued about it when he shifted his hand around in an attempt to find the source of the fluttering, and you couldn't help but find that... _endearing_.

"Nothing at all?"

He shook his head.

That's when he removed his glove, revealing the tanned skin on his bare hands and wrist. He repositioned it on your stomach, his other hand finding its way to the small of your back. Oh, how you _longed_ for his bare touch like this... his hands were constantly warm in comparison to yours, and you recalled a time when you would take that as an excuse to hold his hand. It wasn't like he minded either.

"What about now?"

"I think..." he froze for a second, attempting to feel the baby in your belly still moving around. "I think— yeah, I feel it!" The exhilaration in the way he spoke and his soft chuckled caused you to giggle eagerly along with him.

Here he was getting excited over a baby he had no clue was even his own.

You gave him a bright look as you stared into his visor for a moment, and you knew he was smiling widely back at you beneath the helmet covering his features.

He deserved to know.

There was a moment of hesitation before you opened your mouth to say something, to _tell him_ that he was going to be a father. But you couldn't. And your mouth shut closed immediately after. You couldn't put him through that... the idea of you and Din living a felicitous life along with your baby together was impossible, and it had to be erased from your mind completely. Because it won't _ever_ happen — it never will. The two of you had your chance before. It wasn't taken, and there's nothing that can be done about it now.

Averting your gaze as soon as you found your emotions were getting the best of you, you looked ahead over at the storm that had recently passed away. Din pulled his hands away from you, covering his bare hand with his glove. "The storm's over," you observed. Classic Rainoh. One second it'll be snowing like crazy and the next thing you know, everything's calm again.

"I'll head back to my ship, then."

You nodded, turning to at least walk him out your room if he wouldn't allow you to do so towards his ship for whatever reason. You stopped in front of your door, "Since you couldn't eat back at the table, do you want me to send something over to your ship?"

"I've got enough back in the _Crest_ for now," he assured. "But thank you."

"Alright," you said. "Just let me know, then."

Just as you were about to open the door and allow Din to exit, someone knocks on the other side and you retract your hand in an instant. Your eyes widen upon hearing the prince calling your name, the blood draining from your face realizing there would be a huge misunderstanding if he caught Din in your _room_. Sure, you could explain with all honesty that he was here purely to watch over his ship, but whether he would believe it or not was the problem. Given your past with the Mandalorian bounty hunter... it would absolutely cause some suspicion.

Cursing under your breath, you shot a panicked glance over at Din. His stance gave away his unease as well, his gloved hand involuntarily hovering over the blaster in his holster from pure instinct. You mouthed a 'what do we do?' just as the prince called from the other side again, causing you to respond with, "Give me a second, I-I'm changing!"

The two of you desperately searched around the room for a solution, an alternative exit or some sort of... hiding spot. That's right -- the closet! Why couldn't you have initially thought of that? You could recall the _countless_ occasions when Din took cover in that closet as soon as any sign of your mother approaching was heard.

Din seemed to consider the same idea when he raced over to the closet, reaching to close up the door and completely conceal him from within. Biting back a nervous giggle, you begin lifting your hand to greet the prince only for something else to cross your mind, causing you to freeze in spot.

You had originally informed the prince that you were changing into a new set of clothes, yet you were still in the dress worn at the table.

"Kriff!" you whispered under your frustration. Hastily, you opted to change into the usual comfortable attire worn when you rested. Which, you had to admit, was odd with the Mandalorian in your closet. Of course, he had seen you plenty of times before... but that was ages ago. Things were simpler back then, now it's all just a complicated mess.

Another knock. "Are you alright in there?"

"Yeah, I'm fine!" you grunted as you struggled to pull the fresh set of pants up over your waist.

 _Maker_ , you needed new clothes. Pretty soon, you wouldn't be able to fit in any of them.

Finally done with your changing, you stepped towards the door and met with Declros, a grin plastered on your lips in an attempt to conceal the apprehension weighing down on you. You hoped you weren't giving him any cause to feel skeptical. "Hey."

"Love, I'm leaving to Tasseth now," he stated. "Just needed a quick goodbye from you before I left."

"Oh," was all you could muster in your nervousness. You blinked a few times, searching for something else to say. "Well then, see you next time you return. I'll be waiting."

He started leaning in for a kiss again, and you internally groaned. Yet this time you didn't object and unwillingly gave him a peck on the lips, attempting to fight back a disgusted look. The last thing you wanted to be doing right now is kissing him. "Rest well," he said right before walking off.

Closing the door, you allow a breath you didn't realize you were holding in escape from your lips. For a second, you remained quiet while waiting for the receding footsteps of the prince to disappear before allowing Din to come out. "It's clear, Din."

The closet door slid open, revealing his beskar-clad figure as he stepped towards you. "Just like old times, huh?" A barely audible chuckle was heard through his vocoder.

You couldn't contain your laugh, still tinged with edginess due to the previous moment. You agreed, " _Just like old times_."

Turning, you opt to unlock the door only for you to be interrupted again.

" _Wait_."

Your head whipped around to face Din, an expectant look on your face. He seemed to calculate his words carefully, his visor trailing around the room for a moment before locking on you. "You can come over to the _Crest_ ," he offered. "If you'd like."

You shook your head, "It's fine, Din. If you don't want me there for whatever reason--"

"No, no," he took a hesitant step closer, his hands vaguely fidgeting together. "I... It's not that I don't want you there, it's the opposite, actually..." A crackle from his voice modulator was heard as he let out a frustrated breath. You reached out for one of his gloved hands, gently caressing his knuckles to urge him to go on. Despite your internally screaming at yourself to pull back your hand, that you'll end up making this more burdensome than it already is, you couldn't seem to do so.

"It's been a rough few months," Din admitted, causing you to give him a sympathetic look. "At least... come over _once_ before I have to leave."

"Of course," you grinned softly while staring into the darkness of his visor.

With a nod of his helmet, you allowed him to leave this time. A small wave was directed towards him while dismissing him, and you shared one last glance before he walked away. You found yourself watching him for a while, his visor turning to face you for a split second right before turning a corner and disappearing from sight. Closing the door, you held a gentle smile on your lips as you climbed into bed for some well-deserved rest after the unexpectedly surprising day that wasn't quite over yet.

You weren't sure what to feel anymore. Sometimes you and the Mandalorian couldn't seem to get along at all, your quarreling continuing nonstop. While other times... it almost felt like that love between you could return if you allowed it, like it was actually possible. _Almost_. The both of you knew that was out of reach -- you were married now. Anything between you two, no matter how much you desired it, wasn't feasible. So if he wanted to see you one last time before he left Rainoh, then you would gladly oblige. But that's all. You couldn't risk it any further, you were bound to get hurt -- the both of you would.


End file.
